‘Give us $250k or you’re a bad daughter’: Parents Demand Their Daughter Give Them an Exorbitant Amount of Funds, Resulting in a Guilt Trip of the Century When Denied

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    r/AITAH • 7 days ago Livid_Fox_1811 Denied my parents $250k
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    I had dinner with my family a week ago. It was to celebrate my younger sister for getting into a medical fellowship. We are 10 years apart in age. The first 15 minutes into dinner my parents asked me for $250k so they could downsize and buy a house (retired). First I don't have that amount of cash lying around and told them I'd have to sell my
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    investments to raise that amount of cash and I don't want to pay tax. Then I told them to sell their current house first, come live with me, and then buy another house using the money they received from the previous house.
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    It all seemed fine until my mom started to criticize me about money later. She may resent me for not buying her much stuff when I first had a real job. I make mid 6 figures but I've also had to pay back almost $160k in loans. She said that I don't give enough for her birthday and that I don't see her as anything. She also said I never was generous to her
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    anyway so she didn't expect me to give her any money. To be honest, I gave her $50. But I also take them out to dinner every month even though I hate it. They're extremely negative people. Always bickering and just overall will bring your happiness level down for a day or two but I do it because they're my parents.
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    Always talking to me about divorce. Anyway. Am I in the wrong here for denying them the money? And should I be more generous to them? I feel like a burden to them up until the point I made money.
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    Edit: Lots of astute folks here wondering if if it's a cultural thing. I'm Asian. I don't think though, that my other Asian friends have had that big of an ask by their parents. That probably explains a lot, however, I don't think my other Asian friends have had this big of an ask from their parents. Doesn't seem like they grew up feeling
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    like a burden to them either. And yes this is real. Unfortunately my parents--especially my mom-- really know how to cloud my judgement and lay down the guilt.
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    • Very-last-boyscout ⚫ 7d ago If all this is really true, then your parents are weird and your mother has to see a therapist stat. I'm the father of two grown- up daughters. First off, I don't want to say, I would never ever ask my children for money. But it would
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    have to be a really dire situation. I mean really bad. Horribly bad. So bad, I don't want to think about it even hypothetically. And then what the f... is wrong with your mother, that she keeps tabs on the value of your presents? Who does that? She is a grown
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    up woman. She can get her own stuff. I love my kids, my kids love me. We like to spend time together. But for my last birthday, I got a book. And for Christmas, it was a voucher for bowling with the two of them. And I liked the book and liked to go bowling with them. Period.
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    Your mother is not only a negative person. There is something really wrong with her self esteem and her perception of her and her personal relationships.
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    cassowary32 • 7d ago NTA. Are you serious? They bold faced asked for a quarter million dollars in cash for a house? That makes no sense.
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    If they are downsizing, the proceeds they get from the larger place should more than cover their new place. Have they been pulling the equity out of their current home?
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    Why can't they make an offer contingent on the sale of their current place? Are they putting you on the deed if you gave them the money? Would they ever pay you back?
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    Offering to let them stay with you is more than generous, though it sounds like a terrible idea if you can't stomach a monthly dinner with them.
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    . EconomicsWorkin... 7d ago NTA They're greedy. But why did you tell them you have so much money in investments? They have their eyes on it now.
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    dr_lucia • 7d ago > $250k so they could downsize and buy a house. (retired) Wow. >she may resent me for not buying her much stuff when I first had a real job
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    You were supposed to buy her lots of stuff? Out of curiosity, did they put you through school? I mean, you have $160K in loans, so it sounds like they didn't.
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    You need to pay off your loans before you do anything like "help" your parents with big financial things. Sounds like you are maybe in your 30s so they may be in their mid 60s. You need to be financially sound and debt free to be in a position to help should they
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    position to help should they really need care in their 80s and 90s. Right now, they are young enough they should be fully supporting themselves and looking ahead for their own sake and the sake of their loved ones.

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